EVOO

Started out as a regular, slightly chilly, but sunny day in April.  You know the kind. Where Spring plays peek-a-freaking-boo on frazzled mommies whose kids have had to stay one too many days indoors you.  Alyssa came home from school and I spent a few minutes in her room with her being hella nosy asking subtle, veiled questions about her day, who she hung out with, what she had for lunch, oh, you spoke with "that" guy? What's his name? you know, acting dumb to pump her for all the information I could possibly get my hands on. Our conversation started out with simple, everyday things, and then turned into WTH? And yeah, she pretty much tells me everything (or so I delude myself into thinking).

Alyssa: "Mom, my friends' sister told her she lost her viginity 5 times."

Me (picture my eyes bugging out, eyebrows raised to my hairline, yeah, not pretty, I know): "5 times, huh? Honey, baby, do you know what virginity is?"

Alyssa: "No."

No? No! No? 

How could my straight A beeeautiful daughter not know?  As I'm racking my brain trying to remember the specifics of what I've told her and come up blank on the whole virginity situation. Oh, I know. 'Cause the entire time I was explaining STD's and showing her medically explicit pictures of what could happen to her (hoping against all hope that the images would burn onto the back of her eyelids), explaining the whole 'your body is a temple' thing, and pretty much making sure she is super duper well informed, I somehow forgot to tell her that it all starts somewhere. Duh. Slap forehead.

Me: "Babe, once you have sexual intercourse you are no longer a virgin. You know, like extra virgin olive oil (what?).  It's made from the oil of the olives. So it's pure. No one or anything has touched or messed with it (grasping at straws here and failing). So, you can't lose your virginity 5 times. You can only lose it once."

Alyssa: "I get it mom. It makes sense."

Ok. This is where WTH comes in. Clearly it was not my best 'mom' moment and I know I got caught like a deer in the headlights. EVOO and virginity?  Who knew that analogy existed? I sure didn't. But it worked people. I blame this mental fart lack of coherent thought on peek-a-freaking-boo Spring.

Now, should it bother me that she made the nonexistent fleeting connection between EVOO and virginity? I can't afford to be picky my friends. I take what I can get.

Oh, and that friends' sister was 18. I asked. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't? Yeah, don't answer that.