Yesterday this lady, who kisses me, hugs me, cuddles me, feeds me good stuff, gives me warm baths, blows raspberries on my belly, and lets me sleep with her took my brother Aiden sibling (anonymity is important - don't wanna cause problems here people) and I to play outside.
I'll call her mom since it's what I've heard my other siblings call her. It was a nice day, a little chilly, but that lady mom put a hat on my head so it stayed warm. She didn't change my clothes after breakfast so that explains the prune/applesauce stains. It's like Activia but for babies. That stuff works good. Oh, and the unsnapped snap...that's just me. It takes alot of work to keep up with this figure these looks. Anyway, she put me on the slide and I sat there enjoying my new slide (for me anyway), and the breeze.
However, she then took out her camera.
Started clicking away giving no notice when my brother Aiden sibling started climbing on this play structure (aka ghetto slide 'cause it has duck tape) and placed himself or herself directly behind me. This caused me some concern as my developmental skills are right on track: for an 8th month old but therefore not developed enough to withstand the surprise attack on my persona that was to follow. While "mom" was clicking away, I got pushed. Down the slide.
When I finally rolled over (at the bottom of the slide) my view was this:
Needless to say, all I can remember was the following conversation:
Mom: "Aiden, why did you push the baby! We don't push babies!" click, click, click.
Aiden Sibling: "Sorry baaaaby."
Mom: "Tell your brother you're sorry." click, click.
Aiden Sibling: "I did."
Mom: "Don't do that again! You could have hurt the baby!" click, click, click, click, click, click.
Aiden Sibling: "K mom."
I was ok though. Between the light at the end of the tunnel, peripheral flashing lights, and all that clicking, I thought it was actually kind of fun. Shhh, don't tell "mom".
Don't be too hard on her for her inattentiveness. She did check me just to make sure I was ok. And she gave me lots of kisses and hugs. After that last picture was taken.
So today was Alyssa's first softball game. Huh. I feel sorry for her coach. Her momma has a big mouth. And she's loud. And at any given time has at least four other little kids with her.
That being said, she played an awesome game. Where was my camera you ask? Oh, on top of the refrigerator 'cause it's the only place that 5 sets of hands can't reach. Or think of when I hide my crap. She plays 3rd base and like I said she's awesome. So anyhoo, check this out. We were up 11-4 and the coach told her teammate to strike out on purpose. WTF!?! Strike out on purpose? Excuse me, since when does one play to strike out on purpose? Uh, hello coach, you better run...from that little girl's momma! That momma was yelling at her daughter, "What kind of swing was that...". Well, you can imagine what she said. It wasn't nice. The coach cuts in and lets her know that he asked her to strike out 'cause we were literally grinding the other team into the dust. The momma stalked away, muttering under her breath. (Watch out coach, she'll come back, don't worry ;)
We lost 15-13. When we were up 11-4 the 3rd inning. (We only play 4 innings.) And the clincher? That other team's coach was talking smack the whooole time. She even told her batter's to do everything they had to do to get to 1st base after the umpire rejected her claim that he didn't call some lame little thing on us. Good thing Lyssy had already been to bat 'cause...you know I didn't want to have to call anyone to bail me out auntie. Well that momma came back with a "question" for the coach. You know what he told her? It builds character. What builds "character"? The fact that you lost the first game for us? Or the fact that you're just, uh, not a good coach? If that was your plan, you hit it. Coach.
Oh, and you know who my first call is to tomorrow morning? To your boss, coach.
Aiden and I had one of those rare one-on-one moments that come across rarely with 5! kids. We were playing with his trains, rolling around in the living room, tickling each other, just having fun. I whispered in his ear, "You know, I made you in my belly." And he whispered back in my ear, "Thank you."
This weekend my family attented our second service at Celebration Church. We also attended last week and needless to say it was a little stressfull. Aiden peed had an accident in his Sunday school class/daycare. Wouldn't ya know it, of course I forgot his change of clothes. So Big Michael went to Wal-Mart across the street and bought him a change of clothing, took him back to class, and came back just in time for the blessing (at the end of service)! Meanwhile I was in service with Isaiah who for some reason just wanted to nurse. Constantly. During the entire service. Oh, and he doesn't like to be covered while he partakes with his meals. So, yeah, I was trying not to flash the entire congregation. Did I mention he tried to do this for the entire service? So, anyhoo, thank goodness my in-laws where there to assist with Little Michael (who by the way didn't think that Sunday school was for him).
This time around, we got up early, had breakfast, got 5! kids ready, and were out the door with time to spare. This never happens people. So I was in a pretty good mood :) which also never happens people. Got there and unloaded took Aiden and Manuel to class. Alyssa, Little Michael, Isaiah, Big Michael, and myself sat at the back of the building like instructed by the ushers because we had kids. When I say back of the building I mean like last corner row, closest to the door. Halfway through service Isaiah starts chewing on his toy, babbling to himself. Not loudly, not crying, or even upset. Just babytalk. This usher man, comes over to me and asks me to leave. Because Isaiah was talking. Because they are recording the service. Whose recording equipment are all the way across this ginormous room. I got up pissed a little miffed and took my baby outside. Where there are 4 flat screen tv's televising the service. Tell me, with all this state of the art equipment, how do you hear a baby babbling when there are multiple people "enthusiastically" interacting with the pastor. And by enthusiastically I mean they are loudly praising God. Which is great. Fine. Wonderful. Love it.
However, when I felt brave enough to go back in and listen to the word of God with my family, here came usher woman. She insisted that the recording could still pick up my son's babbling (remember, enthusiastic people all around me) and could I please get out leave. I kind of just ignored her politely nodded and stayed seated. The third time she came around she waited until I got up. By this time I was more than a little miffed, embarassed, and irritated. Got my kids together and left.
So what does one do in a situation created from this unusual circumstance? I mean, it's not like I can just ask for their supervisor. "I need to talk to your supervisor. Please put God on the line."
The irony of it all: I really enjoyed this church. My kids loved it. Aiden looooooved his class/daycare. I truly feel that it can become a source of peace and inspiration to become better parents, wife and husband, friends, and all around nicer people.
I will take the advice of my wise, young, daughter and we will be returning this weekend ;) Alyssa reminded me that third time's the charm. Right?
Can I get an Amen!
Now who in their right mind would
kick this beeeautiful baby out?
"Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of god. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not recieve the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." -Mark 10:13
P.S. The baby daycare had 3 babies, in bouncers, crying. 1 young girl woman sitting in a rocking chair with another baby.
P.P.S. I really don't like leaving my kids anywhere when they can't yet talk. So sue me.
P.P.P.S. Usher man and usher woman: how do you know my baby wasn't conversing with God Almighty himself? I certainly hope he was.