Toilet Paper 1, Satan 0

So all at the ol' house is not so good. I have a tween. She thought she grew a pair but after further inspection, found none, then proceeded to tuck her tail between her legs.

I held toilet paper for ransom. She was out. I had some. I exorcised her foul mood while she was on the toilet and contrived promises of goodness and solidarity and kindness and no foul language and love and respect and repeated apologies.

I love when the planets align and give me mom superpowers.

Oh, and this week was lock down week. My house is a-spark-a-lin' baby.

Gotta love those tween hormones.

My tween with her brother.

Randomness

I needed light. My mind craved light. So I painted. Light. Gray blue. Love it.

So with the light comes thought and peace. At least for me. Seriously. I want to cry. Happy tears. I am in a happy place. Content. For those of you who know me know that this is sometimes difficult to achieve. To think I've wasted years on negativity. To know that I've made a choice to think about today, now and in the light is a great thing.

Lyssy, Manuel, Michael, Aiden and Isaiah are healthy, smart, loving little people. I certainly did not envision my life today as it is, but the older I grow I know one thing for certain: God has a reason for every curve ball he throws my way. It may not seem so at the time, but in the end I hit that ball out of the field. Not all the time. I'm far from perfect. But I try. 

I am thankful this morning for little boys who smell like sweaty puppies when they wake up even after a bath last night, roly-poly bellies ready for raspberry kisses, straightening Lyssy's hair, taming Aiden's hair, and slicking back Michael's. I'm thankful that today I will have lunch with Manuel and Michael at school. Mickie D's. Yummy. The temperature is in the mid 80's. We're actually cold. The boys begged for sweatshirts this morning. I laughed but complied. For cheesy baby necks that can identify my baby out of millions with one sniff. And I keep sniffing because it causes deep baby belly screams of delight. For my family who allows me to make stupid mistakes and still loves me. Who help pick me up without the I told you so's. They are the greatest. My momma and stepdad, aunties, sisters, brothers, dad, uncles, in-laws...especiallly my 5! monkeys...they are why I get up every morning. To challenge the new day. To behold the wonders of God and all that He has given me. Me. I don't deserve these wonders but apparently God thinks I do. Who am I to prove Him wrong?

Crabby

I have to tell you. I woke up very crabby today.  Just thinking of all the crap I have to do TODAY had me feeling pissed as hell irritated.

Then this happened. Lyssy said she didn't have volleyball practice today and she was coming home early (yay! I can spend some time with her. Practice + Hours of Homework=Absent Lyssy). Isaiah actually sat in his high chair and had breakfast (messy, but he ate), Manuel kept blowing me kisses, Michael came up to me just to say he loved me, and Aiden did the most profound thing ever, he slept in. 

I am so thankful that my job allows me to be home for my wild herd. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful to have a job when so many do not. I am thankful for my far from perfect life. 

Now, if I can actually take a shower sometime today I'll be reeeally thankful.

Negro

While we were eating M&M's for dinner (don't judge-sometimes it's ice cream for breakfast), I was reciting the colors in Spanish for Isaiah. Michael asks, "How do you say black in Spanish?" "Negro", I replied.  He turns to his dad and says, "Dad, you're negro." 

He made me laugh. Like fall onto the floor laugh.

BTW, his dad is not negro. Dark though...way dark...too many summer days in the sun :)

Maybe, Perhaps, A Little

It's been a quiet week here at the ol' house. Well, as quiet as 4 kids 4 and under can possibly be...which is not much.
Truth be told, I kind of, maybe, sort of miss all the commotion. The hustle and bustle. The can you's, make me's, take me's, pick up this person, drop off that person, etc. etc. that were getting a bit old. I was so excited to get rid of them start a new school year I forgot how lonely it gets around here without my homies. I like them. I miss them. I love them.

P.S. Remind me to re-read this post 6 weeks into next summer.

True Story, I Swear

Yesterday I registered Lyssy and Manuel for Catechism. While at the CCD office, 2 other families came in with their kids to register for the 2nd year of Catechism. The kids had to recite 4 out of 9 prayers to be able to register for that 2nd year. The office was quiet as the receptionist asked 1 of the boys to recite the Lord's Prayer. He started off great. Then it turned into laugh-a-palooza.

The Lord's Prayer according to the little boy at the CCD office:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us into temptation, deliver us to evil.
Amen.

It was already quiet but you could hear a pin drop now. Suddenly every. single. adult in that office made eye contact and burst out laughing. Poor kid. He didn't stand a chance.

The receptionist corrected the little boy. And registered him for his 2nd year of Catechism. After he stopped laughing. Hysterically.

P90X

So I've been dragging in writing this little post. 3 years ago, (yes, I said 3) I purchased the P90X (or is it PX90?) exercise program.  I got to know the mail woman very well while anxiously waiting for it to arrive. Almost 2 years ago I finally opened the box. Right before I became pregnant with Z. I did the program for 4 days straight.  After the 4th day I could not move. I swear on everything that I hold holy that I had a fever, my body was in massive pain, my organs were shaking (I could feel everything shake) and my legs felt like rubber.  I remember telling my husband that something was very wrong with me and that the only reason people actually lost weight was because they were too tired to eat anything coupled with the fact that they were too sore to heave themselves up off the floor to walk to the kitchen.  He laughed and in between gasps of air he told me that my body was in shock. Fast forward 2 years.  My neighbor friend kindly brought me her scale (because I'm too lazy to walk across the street) so that I could weigh myself. I was expecting some figure hitting the 200 lb mark.  I was pleasantly surprised at 168.  Thing is, I'm 5'2. Not really. I'm 5'0 when I stand up reeeeally straight so 168 lbs. looks like 200 lbs.  Who am I kidding? Really. Who?

I've decided to write about this for 2 reasons. A being that if I write about it I'll probably be shamed into actually doing it. And B. B is funny and is totally motivated by my friend Audra. You see, Audra also has 5! beautiful babies and is also motivated to lose weight after the birth of princess Audrina. However, Audra has will power. Something I do not posses. Obviously. But back to the motivation. We were talking about losing weight pre-5th baby a while back and she mentioned that by summertime (last year) she wanted to lose enough weight to dress like a ho. Well, guess what. I want to dress like a ho too. Not like woman of the night ho, but more of a conservative, sexy ho. Picture a cross between Salma and Halle. Minus the beauty and height or the Oscar and the money, more curvy-also-known-as-wide hips, long black coarse hair with a few gray hairs, crows feet, Latina, stacked (but in need of a serious push up bra after nursing 5! kids), splotchy skin, pale, dimples (and not in my face cheeks), in need of an eyebrow wax, did I mention I have a 5! kids stretch marked stomach, and a total make-over and wardrobe needed. Whew! I think I have my work cut out for me.

Now, if this is not daunting in itself I don't know what is. I want to lose weight for me. Not for my kids, or my husband (I do have to say that he has never complained or commented on my weight), or anything or anyone else. I want to feel and look good. Again. I used to have that swagger. You know what I'm talking about. That walk, confidence and attitude that made you feel so good. You know, the swagger. I lost it somewhere. Somewhere between too few hours of sleep, and nursing, and eating the mac and cheese the kids left on their plates because I was too tired to serve myself a meal, and the demands of a house, kids, work, life...

I intend to find it. Again.

P.S.: I'm starting P90X?/PX90? on Monday.

Yeah Baby, I Rock

Yesterday was the 1st day of school. Lyssy started 8th grade, Manuel is in 3rd, and Michael is now an official kindergartner. They had a fantabulous day with only complaint: Michael thinks Kinder is too long :)

Aiden, Z, and my daycare kid played all morning, had snack at 10 am, went back out to play, had lunch at 11:45 am and were out by 12. Really. The Gods were smiling on me all day. Now if I can recreate that everyday, I will be a very happy woman indeed. Not to mention happy mom and we all know that's what reeeeeealy counts.

So in the pursuit of happiness, I will try to recreate yesterday again and again and again. Oh, and did I mention, I also cleaned my room, vacummed the entire house, did 5 loads of laundry AND put it away, made breakfast, lunch, snacks, not dinner (Little Cesars in honor of the 1st day of school), did the dishes several times (ok, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, but that counts right?), nursed Z multiple times as well, did art project with the kids, played with the kids, picked up kids from school, cleaned the bathroom, and other things in between all those other things, all throughout the day? Granted, most of this was done while the kiddos took their nap. Want to know something? I can honestly tell you I do not know how I even got to bed. Or if I brushed my teeth (gross, I know). Or how I ended up in my pj's. I do not remember. Scary. So, in the interest of retaining my memories, I will not be recreating some parts of yesterday. We'll see how long I can last without vacumming. Kidding. Sort of.

Back To School

4 out of 5! kids go back to school this year. 4 out of 5!. Let me say it again. 4 out of 5!. Granted, Aiden doesn't start until September, but I'm not complaining. I will have 3 hours, because Aiden is in preschool, of semi-quiet time. The only ones home will be Z and 1 daycare child. 3 hours people. I've been dreaming about this all summer ;)

And on a totally unrelated note: Football has commenced.

Where else can you drool over handsome watch grown men in tights prance around display their sports prowess on the field? I love it when they spank themselves continuously show super positive reinforcement and I get to loudly cheer them on all while your, ahem, I mean my husband is in the same room. Ladies, get with the program. Football is awesome. (I really do enjoy football. Not just because of the players. Ok, some because of the players. But I like football overall as a sport. And boxing. I love me some boxing. And don't forget basketball. All those players running around all sweaty...)  

I think I just overshared. You're welcome.

Non-Fixable Camera, TMI, and Me Time

Z has not slept today. That should let you know how my day has turned out. My camera, it turns out, is not slobber proof. So until I get a new one, no pictures. I went to the thrift store (it was 50% off today people) because it's the only day I allow myself to go, and my oldest son had to poop 10 minutes into my sacred thrift store time. Z was along for the ride too. So much for thrifting. Back home we go. So until the next 50% off day! I did score a brand new House of Dereon vest for my daughter. New with tags! $5.00! Love it! Wish I were a small...not gonna happen any time soon.